I am what I am

'I am what I am' - Five words that are very simple. I mean it takes just two seconds to say them, right? What can be simpler? But these are at the same time the most difficult words to say. 

How so?

When it comes to saying these words with conviction, from the depth of your heart, these are the most difficult words. Also it is easier to say these words to the world. But to do so with conviction, you first have to say these words to yourself from the depth of the heart. 

Basically, it is all about self-awareness followed by self-acceptance. To say these words with complete conviction AND to believe in them AND to live by them; that is the real challenge. 

Be open to feedback, improve yourself and always strive to be a better person but first and last, know yourself as what you basically are (at the core) and accept yourself without being apologetic. There is a difference between improving yourself and molding yourself into what you are not to please the people who do not matter. Understanding this difference is all a matter of common sense. 

Know yourself and then accept yourself. It takes a lot of work and time to do so. It also involves struggles and sacrifices but in the end, it is all worth it. You may have to let go of a lot of friends and a lot of benefits but in the end you will find the best friend and the best thing - YOUR OWN TRUE SELF, unhindered and uninhibited with all the unique gifts that only you have. 

Every single one of you is an ocean of talent and blessings that is unique to you and only to you. But it takes work to realize these things. Like a butterfly coming out of it's pupa that has to struggle. It is a struggle that makes it strong. It emerges and says to the world, "I am what I am". 

Your struggle at self-awareness and self-acceptance is the first step to your emergence from the pupa of other people's expectations. Emerge and say to the world, "I am what I am".       

All in the Mind and Thoughts

"It is all in the mind. Our mindset and thoughts determine the way out life goes." - This is something that we all know. In the recent times, a lot is being said and written about it and many related topics like 'Law of Attraction'. We see articles and videos on the topic on a daily basis. I am going to add some of my perspective to this.

The reason I add to this is because in my observation, the fact that our mind and thoughts determine our life is so obvious but still so easily forgotten by almost everyone. There are so many people out there suffering from lack of focus, not getting the success they want or generally not happy with life. They like to point fingers to all external factors for their state but not many of them look within.

This is not to suggest that there are no external factors to be addressed. Of course there are. But solving these external issues will not really help till they sort out their own minds. Our thoughts, our perspectives and our mindset determine how we identify external problems and how we deal with them. 

How many of us do a 'mindset audit'? It is simply examining our own mindset and correlating it with how our life is going. Do a simple exercise - 

1. Sit quietly and note down your predominant thoughts. No need to complete this in one sitting. It may take several sittings but do it honestly and patiently.

2. Note the thoughts that take up most of your time i.e. the thoughts that take up a majority of your time. This will take time as we do not observe this thing consciously and may need some patient observation.

3. List down the top five topics that take up your thought space. Again, take your time. No need to rush it. 

4. How many of these top five are areas essential to your progress and success in life? In other words, how much thoughts, time and energy are you giving to the things that really matter to you. How much of your thought space is being taken up by unnecessary and repetitive thinking. 

5. Correlate this with the way your life is going. The answer will surprise you. 

It will tell you a lot about where your thoughts and energy are going. If you need, do this exercise more than once to refine your results but you need to be absolutely honest with yourself when you do it.

It is all in the mindset, very true. But first we need to know our mindset. This is just one of many exercises to know own mindset. Do it and I assure you you will be benefited.       

Simplicity - it is a bit complicated

'Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.' Goes a popular saying. It really is. If you see simple people, they have a class and a style that is difficult to match.

In our day to day life and especially in public life a great premium is put on 'being simple'. All leaders and wannabe leaders like to put the 'simplicity tag' on themselves to enhance their acceptance among the public. 'So and so is a simple fellow.' is something we often hear when someone is praising the fellow in question.

But, what is simplicity? What does it mean to be simple? 

According to many people, being simple means not having any external symbols of wealth and affluence. They think that wearing simple clothes, eating simple food and living in simple surroundings is simplicity. These things may be a part of being simple but they do not in themselves define simplicity. That brings us back to the question, what is simplicity?

I think we really miss the whole point about simplicity when we associate it with a person's external being - clothes, possessions and lifestyle. Simplicity is more of an inside job. Being simple according to me simply boils down to 'How simple are you to understand as a person?'

In other words, 'Are you your authentic self?' or 'Do you remain true to your inner self?'. If your answer to these questions is 'Yes' then you are a simple person. 

It is also about self acceptance. If you have accepted yourself as you are and have no hesitation living like your true self, you are a simple person. When you do not accept yourself and try to be something or someone else, you are not a simple person. So, you can have the simplest clothes, eat simplest food and live in the most humble dwellings and still be a big show off. On the other hand you can have the most expensive possessions and live a five star life and still be a simple person. It is all about being your authentic self.       

Simply put, simplicity is being yourself and that can sometimes be a tall order.

Children are simple because they have not yet learnt the ways of the world. So, simplicity also means 'Is your inner child still alive and active?' This is because as children we are our true and authentic self  all the time.

Simplicity is indeed the ultimate sophistication. Because being simple means being the way the universe wants you to be. Simple, isn't it?  

SAVE NATURE - Are you kidding me?

Today is World Environment Day and everybody suddenly remembers that we have to save nature. 'Save Nature' - Two words which display human arrogance like nothing else.

How?

Nature has been around since the big bang (or whichever other way the universe was formed). We humans have been around for a few thousand years. Nature pervades every nook and corner of this universe the size of which we are trying to comprehend. We humans inhabit a portion of the surface of one planet. We are just one of the billions of species that have ever inhabited the earth and we cannot live without the artificial environment that we have created. What makes us think that we can either destroy or save nature?

Forget about unleashing it's wrath on us, when nature just plays little games with us, we struggle to survive. Little more rain than usual, little less rain than usual, a storm, crop failure, tsunami or a virus and we are struggling to save ourselves and we want to save nature? Seriously? What makes us think that we are more special to nature than any other species? Because we decided it?

We are not destroying nature, we are just destroying ourselves and not even realizing it. Have no doubts about it, nature is conscious, it sees and knows. It looks at our activities and does not like what we humans are doing to it. It is very patient but there is a limit to the patience of nature. When (not if) it runs out, it will not take nature more than a few hours to get rid of us. 

All the pollution that we have spread, all the forests that we have cut, all the damage that we have inflicted on the environment will get repaired. Nature will repair itself at incredible speed and we will not be around to see it. That is what nature does, it heals itself. 

Behave responsibly

So, instead of trying to 'save nature' or 'save earth' let us behave responsibly with nature. More importantly, let us teach the coming generations to behave responsibly with nature. 

I am a very selfish person. I want clean water to drink, clean unpolluted air to breath and healthy crops that grow in unpolluted soil. I want these things for myself and my children. How can I get that? By behaving responsibly with nature. So, become selfish in a good sense.

And while we are at it, discard the thought of saving nature / earth and imbibe the thought of behaving responsibly with nature.      

The Image Trap

Have you ever felt obliged to behave in a certain way because you feel that you need to live up to a certain image? OR because people have spoken in a certain way about you and that makes you feel good about yourself and you do not want it to change? In retrospect do you feel that your behavior in that situation could have been (and should have been) different?

If your answers to these questions is 'YES' then you have been a victim of 'The image trap'.

What is an image trap?

An image trap is a certain image that we hold about our-self in our minds. We feel the need to live up to that image no matter what. All our actions and decisions are dictated by this image. It might be an image that we build for our-self or an image imposed by others. It may or may not be a true image.

An image in itself is not bad. In fact a self-image is important for every person in order to have a sense of self. It becomes a 'trap' in certain circumstances. 'Image' becomes an 'image trap' when it becomes paramount and the need to somehow preserve that image overrides all other considerations. 

So, when does an image become a trap?

At the root of image trap is a lack of self-awareness. Every person should know oneself and build a self-image based on that. When a person depends too much on others for a self-image, it leads to an image trap. When a person gives too much importance to the opinions of others and craves appreciation from them, the person is a perfect candidate to be trapped. The constant need for validation from others also leads to an image trap. (This is not to suggest that we dismiss the opinions and inputs from others. However, it is important to be cautious and draw the line.)

Think about it seriously. If there is a certain image that you always try to live up to, ask yourself what image it is and who are the people for whom you try to live up to this image. Reflect upon it and do a cost benefit analysis of maintaining this image. If you feel that you are expending too much energy without getting anything in return, it is time to seriously rethink. You may also discover that you are being exploited. On the other hand, you might also discover that it has been beneficial to you, in which case it is not a trap.

An image is not always a trap
As mentioned above, an image is not always in itself a negative thing. On the contrary in many situations it may be required. Parents need to create a positive image for their children to live up to. (You are a well behaved boy so don't misbehave. / You are an intelligent girl and you can do well in the exams.) Sometimes children also build a positive image for their parents. (My dad is a super hero.) The problem starts when It becomes exploitative. (You are such a generous person and never say no to anyone.....can you lend me Rs 10,000/-?) Then it is a trap.  

How to spot a trap and stay away from it?
This is easier said than done but not impossible. To spot an image trap around you and avoid it, do the following analysis-

1. What is your 'self image'? How did you reach it i.e. was it self created or prompted by others? (There may be more than one image in different areas of life.)

2. Analyse the self image objectively and find out if it is true or false.

3. Ask yourself, "Do I really need to live up to this image?" "For whom?" "Does it really matter to me?"

4. The most important question - "Am I being exploited?" In other words, "Is the effort to live up to this image taking more away from me than any gains that I may be making?" If the answer to this question is 'YES' then it is time to discard this image.

An image, real or imagined dictates our actions and sometimes a person may spend the entire life under the shadow of this image. Make sure your image is not an image trap. If it is, discard it. It is the heaviest burden you will ever discard and you will feel light after that, ready to soar.