Have you ever felt obliged to behave in a certain way because you feel that you need to live up to a certain image? OR because people have spoken in a certain way about you and that makes you feel good about yourself and you do not want it to change? In retrospect do you feel that your behavior in that situation could have been (and should have been) different?
If your answers to these questions is 'YES' then you have been a victim of 'The image trap'.
What is an image trap?
An image trap is a certain image that we hold about our-self in our minds. We feel the need to live up to that image no matter what. All our actions and decisions are dictated by this image. It might be an image that we build for our-self or an image imposed by others. It may or may not be a true image.
An image in itself is not bad. In fact a self-image is important for every person in order to have a sense of self. It becomes a 'trap' in certain circumstances. 'Image' becomes an 'image trap' when it becomes paramount and the need to somehow preserve that image overrides all other considerations.
So, when does an image become a trap?
At the root of image trap is a lack of self-awareness. Every person should know oneself and build a self-image based on that. When a person depends too much on others for a self-image, it leads to an image trap. When a person gives too much importance to the opinions of others and craves appreciation from them, the person is a perfect candidate to be trapped. The constant need for validation from others also leads to an image trap. (This is not to suggest that we dismiss the opinions and inputs from others. However, it is important to be cautious and draw the line.)
Think about it seriously. If there is a certain image that you always try to live up to, ask yourself what image it is and who are the people for whom you try to live up to this image. Reflect upon it and do a cost benefit analysis of maintaining this image. If you feel that you are expending too much energy without getting anything in return, it is time to seriously rethink. You may also discover that you are being exploited. On the other hand, you might also discover that it has been beneficial to you, in which case it is not a trap.
An image is not always a trap
As mentioned above, an image is not always in itself a negative thing. On the contrary in many situations it may be required. Parents need to create a positive image for their children to live up to. (You are a well behaved boy so don't misbehave. / You are an intelligent girl and you can do well in the exams.) Sometimes children also build a positive image for their parents. (My dad is a super hero.) The problem starts when It becomes exploitative. (You are such a generous person and never say no to anyone.....can you lend me Rs 10,000/-?) Then it is a trap.
How to spot a trap and stay away from it?
This is easier said than done but not impossible. To spot an image trap around you and avoid it, do the following analysis-
1. What is your 'self image'? How did you reach it i.e. was it self created or prompted by others? (There may be more than one image in different areas of life.)
2. Analyse the self image objectively and find out if it is true or false.
3. Ask yourself, "Do I really need to live up to this image?" "For whom?" "Does it really matter to me?"
4. The most important question - "Am I being exploited?" In other words, "Is the effort to live up to this image taking more away from me than any gains that I may be making?" If the answer to this question is 'YES' then it is time to discard this image.
An image, real or imagined dictates our actions and sometimes a person may spend the entire life under the shadow of this image. Make sure your image is not an image trap. If it is, discard it. It is the heaviest burden you will ever discard and you will feel light after that, ready to soar.
Think about it seriously. If there is a certain image that you always try to live up to, ask yourself what image it is and who are the people for whom you try to live up to this image. Reflect upon it and do a cost benefit analysis of maintaining this image. If you feel that you are expending too much energy without getting anything in return, it is time to seriously rethink. You may also discover that you are being exploited. On the other hand, you might also discover that it has been beneficial to you, in which case it is not a trap.
An image is not always a trap
As mentioned above, an image is not always in itself a negative thing. On the contrary in many situations it may be required. Parents need to create a positive image for their children to live up to. (You are a well behaved boy so don't misbehave. / You are an intelligent girl and you can do well in the exams.) Sometimes children also build a positive image for their parents. (My dad is a super hero.) The problem starts when It becomes exploitative. (You are such a generous person and never say no to anyone.....can you lend me Rs 10,000/-?) Then it is a trap.
How to spot a trap and stay away from it?
This is easier said than done but not impossible. To spot an image trap around you and avoid it, do the following analysis-
1. What is your 'self image'? How did you reach it i.e. was it self created or prompted by others? (There may be more than one image in different areas of life.)
2. Analyse the self image objectively and find out if it is true or false.
3. Ask yourself, "Do I really need to live up to this image?" "For whom?" "Does it really matter to me?"
4. The most important question - "Am I being exploited?" In other words, "Is the effort to live up to this image taking more away from me than any gains that I may be making?" If the answer to this question is 'YES' then it is time to discard this image.
An image, real or imagined dictates our actions and sometimes a person may spend the entire life under the shadow of this image. Make sure your image is not an image trap. If it is, discard it. It is the heaviest burden you will ever discard and you will feel light after that, ready to soar.
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