I don't know

What are the three most difficult words to say? (Other than 'I love you') 

They are the words 'I don't know'. Admitting to not knowing something is more difficult than most other things, right? I am sure many of us must have experienced this at one time or other. Imaging yourself in a room full of people (or REMEMBER the occasion when you were). They are all knowledgeable about a certain topic or appear knowledgeable about it. The conversation is centered around that particular topic and you feel left out. What do you do? You recycle something that you have heard from someone else or make up something in order to appear knowledgeable about the topic in order to 'fit in'. 

This typically happens to teenagers and adolescents who are eager to make a mark in the world, belong to a group or to woo someone special. The words 'I don't know' do not fit very well with these goals. Then comes the professional phase of life where 'knowing' is definitely seen as better than 'not knowing' and this trend continues. Admitting to not knowing something is seen as an admission of defeat and so no one wants to use these words.

Very often, we fall into an 'image trap' that is, the need to live up to an image. This image may be self created or created by others for us. In either case once we fall into this image trap it becomes difficult for us to 'not know' some things because we are reaping the benefits of that image. (Image trap is something most of us go through at one time or another. More about it in an independent blog.) The funny part is no one asks us to fall into this trap but we go into it willingly!!!

I am sure many of you must have encountered some person who often uses the words 'Ask me.' or 'Do not try to teach me.' or 'You think I do not know?'. Apart from many other factors, this comes from an unwillingness to 'not know'. This is the next step of not being able or willing to use the words 'I don't know'. We feel the need to prove our knowledge at every available opportunity irrespective of how authentic or inauthentic the knowledge may be.  

Liberating.....

Actually, the words 'I don't know' are among the most liberating words there can be. They have several benefits some of which are - 

• You get free from the obligation of proving anything to anyone or living up to an image. (In-fact it is a very good way of breaking the image trap.)
• You are no longer answerable to others.
• Admitting that you do not know a certain thing opens up the possibilities of finding out about that thing and enhancing your knowledge. (The one who asks is a fool for a minute but the one who does not ask is fool for life.)
• You are less stressed and more 'real'. 
• You save a lot of time. 

So if you are from any one of the above mentioned categories that find it difficult to 'not know' just see the amount of unnecessary stress you are putting yourself through. Ask yourself 'Is this stress really worth it?' 

One person I know is very senior when it comes to age and experience. He owns a business where he employees many youngsters, some of them less then half his age. Often, he needs to know about some new mobile app, software or even way of working. Without any hesitation he calls one of his team members, sits with him / her and learns whatever he needs to know. He does this because he is open to saying the words 'I don't know' at least to himself at first. The result? He is knowledgeable about many topics that he may not have otherwise known and has a fantastic rapport with his team. 

So the next time you do not know something, feel free to admit it and see how light it feels. In addition to the benefits I mentioned above, there will be many more. What may those be? Well, I don't know. Why don't you find out and share with me?