I don't know

What are the three most difficult words to say? (Other than 'I love you') 

They are the words 'I don't know'. Admitting to not knowing something is more difficult than most other things, right? I am sure many of us must have experienced this at one time or other. Imaging yourself in a room full of people (or REMEMBER the occasion when you were). They are all knowledgeable about a certain topic or appear knowledgeable about it. The conversation is centered around that particular topic and you feel left out. What do you do? You recycle something that you have heard from someone else or make up something in order to appear knowledgeable about the topic in order to 'fit in'. 

This typically happens to teenagers and adolescents who are eager to make a mark in the world, belong to a group or to woo someone special. The words 'I don't know' do not fit very well with these goals. Then comes the professional phase of life where 'knowing' is definitely seen as better than 'not knowing' and this trend continues. Admitting to not knowing something is seen as an admission of defeat and so no one wants to use these words.

Very often, we fall into an 'image trap' that is, the need to live up to an image. This image may be self created or created by others for us. In either case once we fall into this image trap it becomes difficult for us to 'not know' some things because we are reaping the benefits of that image. (Image trap is something most of us go through at one time or another. More about it in an independent blog.) The funny part is no one asks us to fall into this trap but we go into it willingly!!!

I am sure many of you must have encountered some person who often uses the words 'Ask me.' or 'Do not try to teach me.' or 'You think I do not know?'. Apart from many other factors, this comes from an unwillingness to 'not know'. This is the next step of not being able or willing to use the words 'I don't know'. We feel the need to prove our knowledge at every available opportunity irrespective of how authentic or inauthentic the knowledge may be.  

Liberating.....

Actually, the words 'I don't know' are among the most liberating words there can be. They have several benefits some of which are - 

• You get free from the obligation of proving anything to anyone or living up to an image. (In-fact it is a very good way of breaking the image trap.)
• You are no longer answerable to others.
• Admitting that you do not know a certain thing opens up the possibilities of finding out about that thing and enhancing your knowledge. (The one who asks is a fool for a minute but the one who does not ask is fool for life.)
• You are less stressed and more 'real'. 
• You save a lot of time. 

So if you are from any one of the above mentioned categories that find it difficult to 'not know' just see the amount of unnecessary stress you are putting yourself through. Ask yourself 'Is this stress really worth it?' 

One person I know is very senior when it comes to age and experience. He owns a business where he employees many youngsters, some of them less then half his age. Often, he needs to know about some new mobile app, software or even way of working. Without any hesitation he calls one of his team members, sits with him / her and learns whatever he needs to know. He does this because he is open to saying the words 'I don't know' at least to himself at first. The result? He is knowledgeable about many topics that he may not have otherwise known and has a fantastic rapport with his team. 

So the next time you do not know something, feel free to admit it and see how light it feels. In addition to the benefits I mentioned above, there will be many more. What may those be? Well, I don't know. Why don't you find out and share with me? 

Lessons from Candy Crush

Simple everyday activities are full of valuable lessons if you pay attention. Here are nine lessons that I found in the game of Candy Crush. I am sure that as I continue to play the game, more lessons will appear.

Those who play this game will recognize the lessons. Those who don't play it should start playing.

   

1.     There is no problem without a solution. The solution is always there. You’ve got to keep looking.

2.     A solution will often present itself at an unexpected time and place. BUT you’ve got to keep looking for it.

3.     There are diversions and you have to pay attention to some of them. But you cannot afford to lose sight of the goal. Managing your attention is very important.

4.     Often the best solution is hidden right in front of you, in plain sight. We miss it because we are often taken in by the optics of something that looks better.

5.     What works in one situation many not work in another. Do not go for something just because it looks spectacular. Ask yourself, “What will work here?”

6.     At times, it looks like things are stuck and there is no moving forward. But when things start moving, they move so fast that the speed surprises you. Then, just when you are enjoying the speed you are likely to get stuck again. That’s life. Get used to it.

7.     There are resources available for you to do your task. They are there most of the time. We cannot use them because either we are not aware of their presence or do not know how to use them. As a result, we keep working hard instead of working smart. So, know what your resources are and how to use them.

8.     Miracles happen. They happen when all hope seems to be lost. They happen when you least expect them. Sometimes you need to do a small thing to make a miracle happen. But they happen.    

9.     Some questions seem to be very big. But when you begin taking them head on, they start answering themselves. It is the same with problems.

Successful Resume - Some Tips

For anyone about to appear for an interview, especially freshers, the resume is the most important document. It is a professional profile and is the professional pen picture of the candidate. A resume creates an image of the candidate before one walks into the room to face the interview, plays an important part in the selection of the candidate and even determines if the candidate will get called for the interview in the first place. The content of the resume is of course important but subconsciously the person reading it is observing a lot more.  

Now, if you check on the net you will find many formats of resumes. There is no standard correct or wrong format for a resume. You just need to remember a few tips while building your resume. Some of them are: -

1. When we appear for class 10th or 12th exam, we are told that the person checking the papers will have hundreds of papers to check so make sure that your answers are written in a format that is easy to read and understand. The same applies for a resume too. Do not make the interviewer struggle to understand your resume. Make sure the information is organized in a way that it is easy to comprehend. 
2. You can use creativity in formatting your resume if applying for a job in a creative field. That might work for you. But otherwise stick to a formal format. 
3. REMEMBER - Everything that you put on the resume can and will be questioned. Go through the resume and ask yourself what questions can be asked about everything. If you are not sure about something it does not have to be on the resume.
4. There is no need to attach a picture of yourself unless specifically asked for by the interviewing company.
5. No need to put a 'Career Objective' at the beginning. Even if it is there let it be a short and sweet one / two liner, not a paragraph. Remember, keep it simple.
6. No need to add a 'declaration' at the end about the information being authentic. It is not a legal document to be presented in a court of law.
7. Also, no need to put 'place' and 'date' in the end.
8. In case of educational qualifications just put the name of the school / college, standard passed, year and percentages obtained. No need for any further details as it will clutter the page. Besides, you need to keep something to tell them during the interview also, right?
9. One place where questions are sure to be asked is the 'hobbies' section. Make sure you put hobbies that are really your hobbies. Do not put a long list of hobbies to impress them. It will backfire. 
10. Best font is 'Arial' and do not have more than two font sizes. Ideal font size is between 12 and 14. 
11. Information must be to the point and in bullet points. Avoid paragraphs and elaborate descriptions. 
12. Keep margins on top and bottom and on either sides. 
13. DO NOT do a last minute job when it comes to printing the resume. Make sure you print it at least a day before it is to be submitted / carried to the interview. This is so that if the printer malfunctions, you have enough time to get the print from another place.  
14. Last but not the least, after the resume is made review it for grammatical and spelling mistakes. Any document that you send out with mistakes will jeopardize your chances for an interview call.

The way you treat the resume is a reflection of how seriously you take the interview and the prospective job. Instead of making a resume a day or two before the interview, you must try to BUILD the resume for maximum impact. Take your time and add things carefully mulling over how it is worded and what questions may be asked. In other words, look at the resume from the interviewer's perspective and build an image of the person it represents (which in this case happens to be you.) If the image is not a good one, redo the resume.

Your resume is 'you' in front of the interviewer before you physically appear for the interview. Just like you will present yourself with the best possible grooming, groom your resume to look at its best.            

Vision, Goals and Self Awareness

Vision - The ability to think or plan the future with imagination or wisdom. 

Goals - The object of a person's ambition or effort. An aim or a desired result.

Simply put, a vision is a long term and a permanent goal and a goal is a short term vision that aims to help a person achieve the vision for one's life. It is extremely important that both should be in alignment with each other.

How to achieve this?

The first step is 'Self Awareness'

Self Awareness - Conscious knowledge of one's abilities, character and feelings.

But why self awareness? It is simple, any vision or goal that is set without self awareness is very likely to go wrong and lead to frustration, failure and wasted time.

Self awareness in this context simply means knowing what will keep one happy, what one can do and how one is inclined. It can be simply summed up in one question - What do I want in life? Once this question is answered, it can lead to a more realistic vision setting. Then goals can be set to move towards this vision.

It is basically a three step process of knowing oneself, setting a vision for life and then setting goals to move towards that vision. A vast majority of us do not do this nor do we encourage our children to go through this process. The fact is this is THE most important education that anyone must get in childhood for a successful and a fulfilled life.

You must be still wondering, why self awareness? What role does self awareness have in goal / vision setting? While many people know the relation between vision and goals, not many are aware of the importance of self awareness in this process. Self awareness does not play any direct role in setting a particular vision or a goal but definitely helps in selecting a realistic vision and goals for one's life. When a person is fully aware of his own capabilities and potential he will set a realistic goal that has a better chance of getting fulfilled rather than copying someone else's goal that looks impressive.

Also, assuming that HAPPINESS is what one ultimately wants in life self awareness will also tell a person what will keep him / her happy. A vision / goal set in alignment with such an awareness is likely to be pursued with more dedication because it will ultimately lead to happiness.

Ideally this process should be completed before the end of student life so that a more realistic, achievable and satisfying career path can be charted out for one to follow. Even doing this at the very early stages of one's professional life will give good results. But it should be done at the earliest. Anyone who has faced frustration in life because of a wrongly selected profession will realize that a process starting with a complete awareness of self would have resulted in a more satisfied life. 'Self Awareness' is the missing link in the whole process of planning one's life and this has to change.

There are several tools and techniques for self awareness such as aptitude testing, psychological testing, DMIT etc. One can choose a technique as per one's liking or multiple tests to get a clearer picture of one's self. In addition teenagers should be encouraged to introspect on what makes them happy and what appeals to them the most.

Conclusion

'Self Awareness' has been the missing link in the whole process of planning the future or selecting a feasible career path for students. It should ideally be a part of the curricula at schools but till that happens, we can at least start on our own. It is an important first step towards a satisfied and a fulfilled life.