What should I become? Ask these questions.

What should I become? What profession should I pursue? What career should I make?

These are some of the questions that students start asking themselves and those around them after they reach class 9th, or in some cases even earlier. To answer these questions, they and their elders use various criterion such as likes and dislikes, talent, skills, etc. These are very important questions and play a major role in deciding the future career of students.

However, there are two questions that often get neglected. These are important questions that need to be asked and taken into account when zeroing down on a choice of profession. Every student should be encouraged to ask these questions and find the answers to them before finalizing a profession. What are these questions?

1. What type of lifestyle do I want to lead?

2. If I am turning my passion / hobby into profession, what value can I add to the people's lives for which they will pay me?

Lifestyle...

Lifestyle i.e. what type of life one wants to lead is the most important question in one's life. It is your life....your REAL life.  It includes your family, friends, social life, hobbies and own time. Your profession is a part of your life, an important part no doubt but just a part. It should not dictate your entire life. 

First decide what type of lifestyle you want to lead and then choose a profession that supports that lifestyle. Most of the people do exactly the reverse. They choose a profession and then 'adjust' their lifestyle to adjust to the demands of their profession. This takes a toll on their personal life. If you are really passionate about your work, a workaholic or fine with this arrangement, no problems. But in most of the cases this leads to frustration after a few years. After this, people either keep going because they have no option or they go for a change of profession in their late 30s or early 40s. 

To prevent this, encourage your children to envision the type of lifestyle that will make them happy in the long run. Encourage them to know themselves and what makes them tick, what drives them and what will keep their enthusiasm going for life. Choosing a profession should be the next step. For example, if the child wants to lead a systematic routine life with enough family time, let them choose a typical government job with a 9 to 5 time and holidays on festivals. If they want to travel, let them choose a job / company that offers travel as a part of the work like cruse liners or airlines etc. Even corporate jobs in marketing / sales involve travel.  

Passion / Hobby as profession...

The most ideal thing is to turn their passion / hobby into a profession. Now days, technology and the internet offer many options to help convert a passion into profession. It is extremely important for them to decide which facet of their hobby will add the most value to people's life and the people will be willing to pay for. For example, if the child is passionate about horse riding, becoming a jockey might be an obvious option but also a horse trainer or horse riding instructor can be good options if the market is right. Similarly, if the child is passionate about writing, there are several options like author, content writer or ghost writer. Help them choose the best possible option to monetize the passion based on the market requirement and trends. 

If we can do this, we ensure long term satisfaction of the child. They will not face the crisis that a growing number of professionals face after 15 - 20 years of their working life. 

It is amazing...

It is really amazing that from the time the child starts education, we strive to teach them everything possible and encourage them to learn about every possible thing except the most important thing - SELF. It is the SELF that has to lead a life and pursue a profession and be happy or frustrated. But in an absence of any self knowledge, many young aspirants choose professions based on purely external criteria and end up frustrated. In the process they do injustice to their inherent talents which lie unused and to the world that does not benefit from their abilities.

Self awareness over here is not being mentioned from a spiritual point of view but a simple basic knowledge of what one likes and what will drive one to jump out of the bed each morning with a smile for at least the next 40 years.

Like everything else in this changing world, the method of choosing professions also needs to change in order to ensure easy adaptation to a changing world. Let us help our children to make this change and ensure their lifelong happiness.    

Opinions - Voluntary or Involuntary?

The opinions of other people don't pay your bills. Don't allow them to take up your time and energy.   

People have opinions and people will have opinions. They just don't have a choice. It will not be wrong to say that having an opinion is the default settings of us humans. Forming an opinion or an image is a part of the process of understanding our environment. We all do it all the time. 

Try this. The next time you are in a public place, observe some random stranger. If you observe the stranger/s AND your thoughts about them, you will realize that you are already forming an opinion about them without even noticing it. ('He is fat. Must be unfit.' 'She is overeating. Must be depressed.' 'He is talking rudely. Must be an egoistic person.') We think that we are minding our own business but a part of our brain is already busy in forming an image / opinion about others. 

Following factors play an important part in the formation of opinions - 

1. Our experiences

2. Our beliefs

3. Information that we gain from the environment

If you see any opinion that you have about anyone or anything these factors have played a part in forming the same. The opinion may or may not be true. There is a very large chunk of information that you may not have especially while forming opinions about people / things / situations that you know nothing about. But each and every one of us WILL form an opinion, whether we express it or not is a different matter altogether. 

So why do we have opinions?

As mentioned above, we form opinions as a part of studying our environment and knowing where exactly we fit into it. Our brain processes the information that it receives and forms a picture to try to discern our place in the scheme of things. It is a subconscious and an involuntary process. Many a times we do not even know that we have formed an opinion till we really need to express it or think about it. 

The question is....

The question is, do you really need to be bothered about the opinions of others? The answer is of course NO, unless it is a person that really matters / is an expert whose opinion you value or you have asked for that person's opinion on the issue. If somebody still expresses one's opinion on your choices or life, just ignore it and there is no need to get worked up. (Use your common sense. Sometimes you may need to react or counter the person to prevent the spread of misconceptions about yourself.)         

The same applies other way around. Be discrete about expressing your opinions unless asked for or it is relevant. Otherwise keep it to yourself. 

You cannot stop people from having opinions. They will be there. You can of course make it clear to them that their opinions cannot and should not be expressed because they are based on their biased perception of the situation. 

And remember, it works both ways. It applies to you too.