Its all about the perspective

Look up at the sky during the night. You see stars and the moon. Now hold up your thumb in front of your eye in such a way that it blocks a small portion of the sky for you. What is blocked is just a tiny patch of the sky, right? Right. But given what we know about the size of the universe, the tiny portion of the sky that is hidden from your view by the thumb might be hiding entire groups of galaxies with billions of stars and maybe worlds with intelligent life. That is right. Projected ahead from your eyes, the angle of vision increases and over a distance of light years it becomes big enough to accommodate a vast portion of the universe.

Closer home we have all heard the story of the blindfolded men surrounding an elephant. Depending on which part of the elephant they touch they think it to be a pillar, a rope or a snake and argue till someone removes heir blindfolds. 

What do these two things have in common? They both underline the importance of perspective. In the first case it is the distance that prevents one from seeing what one is missing and in the second case, it is the individual position that determines the view of each person. 

Relate this to all our opinions and views and we realize that the way we see people, things and life itself is determined largely by our perspective. While it is only natural and necessary for each person to have an individual perspective it is equally important to realize that what we see is only from an individual perspective. This realization is the first step to understanding and empathizing with others.

A slight shift in perspective is always a good thing when there is a stalemate. It does not mean abandoning your own point of view but being able to understand the situation holistically. Once we are able to understand why other people think the way they do, it becomes easier for us to convince them of our own point of view because then their thinking process is easier for us to understand.

Basically, it involves the following steps -

1. Understanding that our own opinions come from our unique perspective on the topic.

2. Understanding that our's is just one of the many possible perspective on the topic and that each individual has a unique perspective.

3. Understanding the perspective of the other person by putting our-self in their shoes.

4. Appreciating the situation from their perspective and getting the holistic picture.

5. Addressing the concerns that may be arising from their perspective.

While doing this, it is necessary to be not only able but also to be willing to see things from another perspective. Essentially we need to put aside our own prejudices and biases to do this and that is the toughest part because often the ego comes into play.

The ability to appreciate the other person's perspective is a unique gift that helps us to assess a situation accurately and take right decisions. More than anyone this ability is essential for a person in a leadership position or aspiring to be a leader.

So the next time you are tempted to get into an argument, remember that your perspective is just one of the many and appreciate that it is all about the perspective.               

Unlearning - The new learning

Do a simple exercise. Take a white board and start writing on it with a marker. Write and write and keep writing till you fill up the board. Then write some more. Fill in the spaces between the letters. Find the white patches and scribble something there till these is no scope for anything more. NOW, try to write something important that you want others to read. OR try to solve a mathematics problem on it. You will not be able to do it because the board is full, no surprises there. What will you do? You will take a duster and wipe out a patch that is at least big enough for you to write the new message or solve the problem, right?

If you have not been doing this till now, start doing it because you will have to do this exercise everyday in the coming times. Only, in this case the 'board' will be your mind and what you have to write, wipe and rewrite will be knowledge, concepts, ideas, ways of working and even beliefs and doctrines. We are living in a world that is rapidly changing in which clinging on to anything means obsolescence. We will have to start each day as a student, willing to learn and adapt. In other words, we have to be willing to unlearn and learn everyday. 

But, the world has always been changing. New things have always been coming in the market. So why the stress on unlearning and relearning now? The main reason is the sheer pace at which the world has started changing today. We are living in times where things become outdated even before they come into the market. And this is mainly applicable to technology. However, given the impact of today's technology it affects the way of working immensely. Each advance in technology has the potential to alter our work and workspace.

Another big reason is the way the world is connected today. Everyone in the world can get in touch with everyone else, at least the capacity exists. This means instant transfer of ideas and their integration with what one knows. If I can think of something now, by the end of the day the whole world can know about it. The result? People are no longer restricted as far as ideas or way of working is concerned. The only restriction that exists is the willingness to accept these. In other words, the mindset is the only restriction. 

There is an increasing realization that traditional ways of working and thinking will not address the issues of the future world. There is a growing stress on 'out of the box' and going ahead there will be no box at all. The young generations of today starting with the millennials have little or no patience with those who cannot adapt to their world.

But is it possible to unlearn? I mean once you learn something you know it all your life, right? We do not have memories like those of a computer with the options of 'select' and 'delete'. So what does it mean to unlearn and relearn. I think it means the following -

1. The willingness to innovate

2. The willingness to integrate new ideas of work, doctrines and belief systems

3. It will also mean a willingness to accept major changes to the lifestyles that we know

4. Going ahead unlearning and relearning will also impact our ideas of the self, self-image and individuality vis-a-vis the society. 

More than technical knowledge or technology (but not excluding it), the unlearning and relearning will be more applicable to the spears of the mindset and ideas.      

      

Lessons from Mahabharat

One of my fondest childhood memories is listening to the stories of Mahabharat from my grandmother. This was before the popular TV series based on the epic was telecast on Doordarshan. I knew the story and the incidents before they were shown on the TV. Lucky me!!

Mahabharat is an indispensable part of our nation's history. It is a chapter of our history that is studied not only in India but all over the world. TV serials and movies have been made on it. Several books, stories and commentaries have been written on it and continue to be written. Characters of Mahabharat are revered, worshiped and idolized even today and this will continue till the end of time. Although the events of Mahabharat are estimated to have happened between thousands of years ago, Mahabharat is alive even today. 

How?

Those of us who are familiar with Mahabharat know the meaning of the adage 'History repeats itself'. We can see the events of today and relate them to the happenings in Mahabharat. But studying history and knowing it is futile if we do not learn the lessons that it has to offer us. So, what are the lessons from Mahabharat? Several answers have been given for this question. Here is my take.

1. Before taking an oath / making a promise think carefully of the consequences - Bhishma Pitamaha took an oath of celibacy and vowed to never stake claim to the throne. He was the rightful heir to the throne but gave it all up in a moment of emotional outburst. A seemingly insignificant event led to a series of events that culminated in one of the biggest wars in history. Had Pitamaha known about the consequences, would he have still taken the oath? Probably no. While it is true that he could not see the future, he should have at least given it a thought especially considering that he was the king in waiting. Out of all the turning points in Mahabharat, this had the most impact. Keep this in mind before you bind yourself with an oath or a promise.   

  

2. Remember that you are a temporary custodian of any position / post - Dhritrashtra sat on the throne due to the untimely demise of his brother Pandu. It was understood that his son Duryodhan would not be the next king but the eldest son of Pandu would be the rightful heir to the throne. (This can be the subject of intense debates.) However, Dhritrashtra became attached to the throne and became obsessed with making Duryodhan the next king. He started treating the throne as a family heirloom that could pass on to his son. He forgot that he was the temporary custodian of the responsibilities of the king. He should have focused on governance and grooming a suitable successor. Instead he spent his time and energy planning to make his son the successor. For this he even ignored the injustices done by his son and the son's coterie. The result is well known to all of us.    

3. Have the right brains with you (First recognize them) - Both Arjun and Duryodhan went to Krishna for help in the war. Krishna offered himself (with the rider that he won't fight) on one hand or his army on the other hand. Arjun chose Krishna instead of his army. He knew that having Krishna's brains would be more useful than any army. Krishna acted as the charioteer for Arjun and a chief strategist for the Pandavas ultimately contributing to their victory. 

  

4. Beware of hidden agendas - Shakuni, the scheming uncle of Duryodhan kept trying to back-stab and kill the Pandavas. He was the evil brain behind Duryodhan. There are many Duryodhans even today and behind each Duryodhan there is an evil Shakuni. Sadly, the eldest Pandav brother Yudhusthir often failed to see the evil designs of the Kauravas and fell for them. The Yudhisthirs of today also continue to be trapped in the evil designs of today's Shakunis. Once a person has displayed a clear hatred towards you, be suspicious of every move they make. 

5. Being fair is a two way street - There were rules for he war. The Kauravas started breaking them and continued to do so till the Pandavas too did the same. Even before the war, the Kauravas were always unfair to the Pandavas and took their sense of fair play to be their weakness. In war, politics or sports fair play will last only as long as both the sides adhere to it. If one side has been breaking all rules (legal or moral) and been allowed to get away with it, it is only a matter of time before the other side does the same. Those who did not question the first side have no moral right to question the other side too.    

6. Being good doesn't mean being a fool - Yudhisthir was a nice person and overlooked the evil deeds of Kauravas too often. His brothers were obedient and listened to him and spared the Kauravas on many occasions. Due to this the Pandavas had to suffer a lot. Sometimes you have to leave the 'good person' tag aside and do what is needful to stand up for yourself. There is no sense in losing what is yours just for some people to call you a 'good person'. 

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

7. There are times you need to break the law (moral and legal) to ensure it's survival - Had the Pandavas followed the rules of the war they could never have won. They broke the rules when required. Their intention was not greed but the larger good of the people. Just like a nation's army has to cross the borders to defend the borders, good people have to employ dubious methods to win. This is for the larger good. If the intentions are right, such acts are morally justified. Discretion is the key.              

Language of the soul

When I was small, I had a friend who had a speech and hearing impairment since birth. He could not talk or hear like the rest of us. He could only communicate through hand gestures, facial expressions or sounds that he made. Given his condition he was probably not even aware of these sounds and could not hear them. I remember him because he was the first friend with special needs that I had. I also remember him for another reason - We had the most wonderful conversations ever. Yes, we understood each other perfectly. I knew what each gesture, facial expression or sound meant and I could convey to him what I wanted to tell him. We told each other stories and narrated experiences from the school, just like with any other friend.  

In the language of trainers, we call this 'non verbal communication' which it is. But it is something more than that. We understood each other because we could understand the language of each other's soul. Language of the soul is the language of the universe that each living being and each thing speaks. Yes, even things speak. 

Many of us would have had the experience of a momentary eye contact with a perfect stranger. No words were exchanged but a lot was conveyed in that one moment. This is because at that moment our souls spoke to each other. We can meet a stranger from a totally different part of the world who does not speak or understand our language. We are able to understand each other perfectly. Those of us who have pets can understand the mood of the pet with just a look at it's eyes. This is because, at that moment our soul connects with the soul of the stranger or the pet. Yes there are universal signs that people use and pets display certain behavior that can be interpreted but there is more to it. 

Why only living beings?

The real beauty of the language of the soul is that it is the language in which the universe talks to us. The environment, the nature and our surroundings communicate with us using this language. We need to be able and willing to listen. Just like in any 'normal' communication if we are unwilling or unable to listen the language is inaudible to us.

What we call aura, vibes, gut feelings, coincidences and synchronicity are the script and grammar of this language. If you tune in and start listening you will be amazed to know that the universe is talking to us all the time. We just do not listen to it. 

The best part

It is that all living beings including humans are born with the ability to speak and understand this language. The reason we lose this ability is that we do not use this ability.

Now days, most of our waking hours are spent in front of a screen, doing something, becoming something and being productive / busy. This is the result of the lifestyle that we as a society have created for our-self. The result? We are totally oriented to the 'outside' and have lost touch with the 'inside' i.e. our own souls. When was the last time you meditated? When was the last time you just sat and allowed your thoughts to flow without trying to control them? When was the last time you had a conversation with yourself? If you do not remember, you are out of touch with your soul and therefore cannot understand the messages hidden in plain sight all around you. 

Animals and birds can understand the language of the soul because they are in the midst of nature all the time. They speak this language all the time. Our ancestors had this ability when they were living in forests. Even today if you go to a community that lives in the midst of nature you will find people who are able to speak the language of the soul perfectly.

In the end

Quantum science tells us that everything is made up of the same energy. This means that we are connected to everything, living or non living at a fundamental level. This means that we are programmed to understand the language of the soul. Just connect with yourself. Meditate, introspect and spend time alone. (There are various methods of meditation. Choose the one that suits you best.) Learn to observe things and people without judgement and spend more time with nature. Once you unlock the universal language of the soul, you will be amazed to read the messages that have been around you all the time. Your life will transform in amazing ways after that!!                

The flip side of 'Work From Home'

Yesterday the WiFi in my home went off for some time. I took a walk around the house and realized that I stay with some other people. I met my parents, spouse and kids. I had a chat with them. Nice people. - This is a well known joke about the drawbacks of the digital age. However, as time passes this may not remain a joke anymore. 

Those of us who have teen-aged and adolescent kids already know how they are addicted to being online. They spend almost all their waking hours with a device. But why blame kids alone? Even we adults are to blame equally. Most of us if not all of us are addicted to our online time. It is very common for a family to be under one roof and not interact with each other because all members are busy with their devices. Working online or work from home, with all it's advantages, is only going to make matters worse. 

How?

For some time now, there has been talk of increasing online work in many industries. Many startups are adopting the model of work from home while minimizing their overheads. Other companies are too adopting this. Obviously this has many advantages. But it is going to have many side effects. The two main side effects are - 

Firstly, the line between home and office will blur and disappear. Home will be office. 

Secondly, more and more people will have a compulsion and a reason to be online for increased amount of time. 

What will this mean?

When we move out of the house to an office we are physically moving away from the home and into a work place. This makes it easy to mentally transform to a work mode. If the home becomes the office, this mental transformation is difficult. As a result out domestic issues will have an increased effect on our work. Likewise, work related stress will get unloaded at home and on the family instantly. This is the result of being in the same environment. 

A home or any other place selected for work will come with it's distractions. Avoiding these and focusing on work is going to be a major challenge. Even now in an office many people are distracted from work due to social media, gossip etc. Transport such people home and imagine the result!! 

In a society like India where women are expected to do all work at house, their presence at home will lead to increased expectations from them. It will pose a challenge for balancing work and domestic life. It will lead to increased pressure for such women. 

The millennial generation is already hooked to devices. If they start working online spending the day on the net, it will further reduce their ability to have meaningful face to face interactions and make friendships and relationships. This is going to have a major impact on the social structure in a few generations. 

The concept of Sundays / Off days and personal time is also likely to get adversely affected. This is especially true in case the boss is a task master who liked to push the team members for completion of work. members will be expected to respond 24 X 7. The health and psychological fall outs will be severe.

How to prevent this?

Wherever possible, there should be a designated work room / desk at home which will be like an office. Our mind will associate this place with work and we can still have a mental transformation to work mode. 

The role of family will be important. Respect the work time of a member working form home and leave them alone. Do not expect the family member to do something for you just because 'they are there'. After all, even now we are used to not having a working member at home and we do just fine, don't we? 

We should insist on and push for family time. It may be meals or after meal chats. A holiday should be a 'no device day'. This sounds difficult to achieve but is not impossible. It is all about building it into the routine.  

Companies should have strict policy on work hours. They should not expect their team members to respond at odd hours or on Sundays / holidays. This should be incorporated in the company policy. 

Frequent face to face interactions and unofficial get-togethers should be organized for team members to form bonds and sort out important issues. Blended model of work is the best for this. (Blended model is the optimal mix of online and face to face work.)

In the end

Like any other thing, working from home also comes with pros and cons. If we are aware of both, we can maximize our benefits and safeguard our-self from the drawbacks.                   

Importance of the Human Connect

I was recently talking to a friend who owns a software development company. Due to the present lock-down scenario, his team is working from home and they are in touch over the phone and video conferencing. He was telling me about the experience of the team in the new work scenario. One sentence stuck with me, "They are missing the water cooler moments."

By this he meant that the team is missing the interactions, the casual chats, the gossip and the environment that an office offers. Anyone who has worked in an office (and that includes almost all of us) would know exactly what he is talking about. We humans are social beings and have evolved to be around each other. We need to meet people especially the ones we are working with. We need to see the person and have face to face interactions. There is no doubt that technology offers us the benefits of working remotely and this speeds up the work doing away with many logistic issues. But the 'human connect' is and will remain an important thing in our work and personal lives.

For all it's benefits, technology cannot (and should not) replace the human connect. So, what exactly do I mean by the human connect that is missing? Consider a few things like these -

1. Face to face interaction offers us a chance to observe the other person, see their body language and feel their vibes. This comes in handy while dealing with a potential client or discussing a sensitive topic.

2. A shake-hand, a pat on the back and an occasional hug work wonders when one needs reassurance. In this case it is literally the human 'touch' that works wonders. Anyone who has had to counsel a colleague / junior in distress will know what this means.

3. A workplace has it's own unique chemistry. We all look forward to going back to our offices after a long break. Sharing stories with our colleagues and catching up on what happened while you were gone has it's own thrill and become our fondest memories. This can be done even over the phone but nothing beats a live update, does it?

4. Physical proximity to our co-workers enforces a sense of a team. When we all work in one physical place and see each other regularly, it creates a sense of belonging to an organization that cannot be achieved in pure online interactions.

5. Water cooler gossip, chats over tea or lunch and interactions after work hours and outside the work place further enforce this bond. In-fact this is what can be called the unofficial channels of communication and these are equally important. Lots of work can be done through these unofficial channels.

6. Building rapport with our colleagues happens best when done face to face.

The present scenario has surely accelerated the 'work from home' concept and it is going to be the thing of the future. But any organization that hopes to build strong teams and get the best out of their team members needs to incorporate the blended model with optimal mix of online and actual interactions. No company can afford to totally cut out actual interactions and hope to achieve their full potential. Because at least for the foreseeable future, humans will continue to be social beings and need the physical presence of their colleagues (many of whom become friends) and the reassurance that it brings.